"So are you all set for the new baby?" "You probably have everything you need already, since this is your 6th one!"
Questions asked over the holidays that I smiled and nodded at, but secretly? No. Not one bit ready, not yet.
With Christmas for 5 children to put on, I decided early on not to worry about prepping for baby until the holidays were past. It's not that I don't look forward to the arrival of this one just as much as any of the others, not at all. But if having this many little ones has taught me anything, it is how fast these moments fly by. Our family has morphed a lot over the past 10 years, and every time we add on to our family, as marvelous as that is, we also lose something. These next few months will be our last as a family of 7, the last few months of Peter as the baby. I wanted to soak in this Christmas just as it was - the 7 of us, one last time before someone new and wonderful comes on the scene.
I love being pregnant. Sure, there are some things that are not so pleasant about it, but it has been a joy to carry my babies, feeling their kicks and flutters and feeling them grow stronger and more vibrant as the days wear on. I don't want to rush this phase by pushing on to the next too quickly. Not yet. I'm still reveling in every kick and twitch and marveling at this awesome gift, waking up each morning with that first knowledge and a secret smile.
All this being said, after we took out the tree last week and boxed up our Christmas decorations, I pulled out a tupperware box and prepared to see what we have here for baby number 6. I don't typically hold on to much at all from one child to the next - space here is at such a premium and it is impossible to know what gender or season the next baby might arrive in. We don't do a nursery, and baby doesn't typically have a dresser for clothes. As a result, a keepsake outfit from each of my 5 babes and a handful of knits I simply couldn't part with make up my current layette, along with some vintage rompers from when my husband was a baby.
I have plans for a few pair of quick change pants, some pilot caps, booties and vests for this baby - quick and easy, and not too much. I hope to be able to fit all of her clothes in an under the bed tub for quite a while. Fabric for her own special quilt has been ordered and will be waiting for her when she arrives - just as celebrated and loved as a baby could possibly be.
So a new year begins and I've got 3 months to go - still not totally ready to dive in with baby preparations, still just enjoying this moment just as it is.
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